AND AFTER THE BREAK.....

Image provided courtesy of Mike Thomas of Encyclopedia of British Dance Bands

Speaking of reality TV, which we weren’t, but somebody somewhere must have been, one of the things they so often do, which to my mind really insults the intelligence of the viewer (yes, I know, to watch some reality shows the viewer needs no intelligence anyway) is that not only at the start of the show do they give you a preview of what is to come, which is perhaps not unreasonable, but they also do it just before each commercial break. They do it on all those televised court shows; they do it on that one about insufferable, snotty airline staff lording it over frustrated and sometimes ill-behaved passengers; they even do it on intelligent reality shows like Top Chef and Project Runway and Bad Lads’ Army.

The producers must be so utterly terrified that as soon as the commercials start, viewers are going to start surfing, never to return. Well, if your show’s hold on the viewer is so tenuous, maybe it would be a good idea to improve it. Just an idea. I’m glad to say they don’t indulge in this ridiculous practice in the excellent The Amazing Race or the riveting Hell’s Kitchen.

Now, if like me you tape programs to time-shift your viewing, you can always fast-forward through these pre-break previews, which always give away the best bits, but you shouldn’t have to. If I watch an episode of E.R. or West Wing (may it rest in peace) they do not tell me what is coming next. That would ruin the drama - and reality shows should earn from that because they too need drama about them, or else no one would watch.

But before drama shows get too smug, let me add that come the revolution, one of the first groups of people to be put up against the wall (right after all the middle-aged men with ponytails) will be the folks who make trailers for TV dramas. They seem to feel the need not just to whet your appetite but to ruin it. They, too, give away all the best bits in advance. What are they thinking?

Remember that episode of E.R. the other day (late 2004 I think it was) where a patient with a mystery illness was discovered – shock horror – to have smallpox? Well, right at the start of the show when they were wheeling him onto a curtained cubicle to see what was wrong with him, I was saying; “Check him for smallpox, guys!” Why? Because the trailer people had already given away the most dramatic twist of the whole show. They didn’t have to – I would have watched anyway.

Likewise, on one of my current fave progs, Life On Mars, there was a rather witty joke which, when we finally saw it, fell completely flat. Those trailer trash had featured it in the preview that had been shown over and over during the week before the show. It’s not easy to force even a half smile at a joke you’ve already heard a dozen times in the last few days. This was all so unnecessary but they do seem to regard the viewer as a disloyal clod with the attention span of a goldfish, and I don’t think they are right.